Friday, August 23, 2013

Real Talk 
So life has been a bit weird lately. It's been full of good stuff...but it's also been full of kind of meh stuff. I *hate* the word "funk" and when people describe themselves/others as being "in a funk" but since I don't have a better alternative, that's what I'll go with. Hi my name is Kayla, and I'm officially in a funk.

I've got a lot going on right now. I graduated a week ago and am trying to balance finding a job with getting ready for the wedding with getting ready to move. These are all exciting things (getting married is definitely at the top of the exciting things list) but for some reason I just don't feel like my normal self. I think a lot of it is stemming from not knowing what the heck I want to do with my life now that I'm finally done with college. I've always had such clear career goals (they would change, but at least I always had something) and now I don't. I totally get that a lot of graduates feel this way, but it sucks and I just wish I could get some sort of answer. I feel like I need to do some serious soul-searching but haven't actually read any cool self help books or listened to any inspirational speeches. I'm 23 and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

And with the wedding, I just feel so overwhelmed with ideas and things to do and expectations and sometimes when I get that way, I just sort of shut down and don't do a darn thing. So here I am, the wedding less than a month and a half away, and I'm just casually visiting my parents and avoiding any sort of responsibility regarding wedding planning. It's just not as carefree as they make it seem in the movies. I truly can't put into words how happy I will be to be freaking MARRIED, get to see family and friends I haven't had the chance to see in ages, and celebrate this incredible day with everyone, but I wish the whole planning-a-party part of it would plan itself. (Please note: I am a control freak and everyone has been so generous with offering to help. I am not at the stage of acceptance yet. Talk to me in a month, though.)

Then the whole moving in 2 weeks thing. I just feel like I have to pack and organize and get rid of things and figure out what furniture we need and how to decorate and how we're going to actually make time to move everything up three flights of stairs (yes, watching an A&M game IS more important than moving in on the actual move-in date) and on and on. I want our first home together to be perfect!

And now let's get to my health. My eating and exercise habits have just been awful since graduation. I'm not even craving healthy foods...I'm starting to get to the point where I am so stressed that I'm not even that hungry to begin with, but when I am hungry please just give me a cookie and a coffee. I did exercise for the first time in over a week today and it felt darn good, but I really had to force myself. It didn't come as easy as it did a few months ago, and that bums me out. 

I guess the whole point of this is to say that I feel like I've taken some steps backward and am just standing there, unable to do what it takes to move forward again. Hopefully exercising tonight was a baby step in the right direction again. 

If anyone does have any suggestions on how you are able to get out of a "funk," feel free to share! Goodness knows I'd love to hear some success stories here.

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